I will spare you at this point my life history, these things are best ventured after an intial period of aquantaince!
Let me start with my trip to the Psychiatrist. My best friend being away, I took with me my oldest friend, who knows me inside and out and although it may have made for an uncomfortable encounter, in hindsite she probably was the best person to take along. Dr A was very nice, gentle and human - something which you cannot always ensure amongst the Mental Health profession. He declined to ask a full history due to the enormous pack of 3 notes sitting beside him. I am sure he had already made his mind up just by the size of these folders. He did ask about my recent moods and general Psychiatric history. I honestly cannot remeber much of this meeting due to extreme nervousness and a certain amount of hangover. Which brings me to a comment made, but not thanked for! I had mentioned to my own Dr about how much I was drinking - she in turn mentioned I had spoken about it to her before. I did? That should have been a big enough clue I suppose.
'And she's been drinking a lot. I would say she has a problem with it, but she probably won't agree'. Thanks mate.
A short discussion surrounding drinking habits, shakes, urges and lifestyle lead Dr A to state, 'Yes. You do have a drinking problem.'
Shit.
So away I went, slightly unconcerned for the diagnosis of Depressive Disorder, blood test in hand, pescription waiting to be filled, sitting in my head surrounded by those words - you have a drinking problem. Something I have laughed about since a teenager, now clearly stated by a medical professional and placed on my records forever.
I cannot even begin to explain how much self will it took not to walk out of there straight into the local pub!
I was sent in the direction of the local Alcohol and drug team and told, 'noone can make you go, but I would seriously urge it.'
So that is what I have done. Without telling anyone - seriously not ready for that yet - I made a phone call and had an appointment the next day.
Welcome to the fold :-)
ReplyDeleteBy the time I got to talk to someone it was way past any need for me to be told... I'd drunk abnormally for 25 years before I got there... stuborness, ignorance, self reliance and arrogance all helping with that denial!
However now I'm happy to say I'm an alcoholic even though I've not drunk for 6 years. I don't stop being an alcoholic even though I'm not drinking.
The fact you are off your bum tryig to do something with it is the best thing